Some favorite sayings:
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Instead of "single" as a marital status, I prefer "Independently owned and operated".
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I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, gender ability or size.
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I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
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I'm not mean. I'm blunt.
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Which means I will tell you the clear difference between a bit naive and incredibly fucking stupid.
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Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.
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If you have a problem with me, please write it nicely on a piece of paper,
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fold it up, and shove it up your ass.
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Chances are if it's tasteless and inappropriate I will think it's totally hilarious.
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If silence is golden shouldn't duct tape be gold instead of silver?
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I have no special talents, I'm just passionately curious.
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I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.
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Once upon a time, I actually gave a fuck, well that's not today.
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I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body,
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but if you betray me, just remember, I know how to hide a dead body.
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Confidence isn't walking into a room with your nose in the air and thinking you're better than everyone else,
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it's walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.
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I'm only responsible for what I say not for what you understand.
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Never apologize for saying what you feel. That's like saying sorry for being real.
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